i think i finally found closure. sitting on my bed with a tonne of things to do. i finally got it.

i realised why i was so dependent i found out why i relied on it so much. i placed all my hopes on you. perhaps i was scared. perhaps i was afraid. myabe it wasnt even being scared about anythhing but you.

i figured if we talked more. things wouldnt end. but i failed to see that relatioinshis end even when people are talking. i guess i was just too cooped up with wanting you. well maybe its not you that i like. maybe its not you, just maybe.
everything is so weird lately that i wished things would go back. rewind and pause at the best parts. those nights that we spent talking about what and what nots. that is the time i truly felt that we were friends. no it seems like you dont even care. and i tried to tell myself if you dont care, I DONT CARE EITHER. but my heart or mind doesnt feel this way. its just too complicated.

EVERYTHING. EVERY shit in my life. always continue to stink up my life. tell me now where can i buy rose tinted glasses. i need them desperately!! i want to see the world rosey pinky and happy. not some shit up stinky place. urghhh

quote from laguna BIOTCH: " theres just too much drama... too much drama."

right here right now i'm going back to reality. snap back to reality opps that goes gravity oops there goes sanity.
i need to i nee to i need to