LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. yet LIFE as we NEVER KNEW IT.

its impossible for me to say " I KNEW IT!" because i never ever can know a thing before it happens. all i can say is that life could be better knowing it. and definately these few days could really be better. to be exact these few months COULD be better.

my heart screams out anguish and yearnings. but who would hear it. my heart longs for you. but you dont hear it. i want so much to tell you i'm not your friend buddy! but i cant do it. i want so much to tell you i like you a hell lot more than you like me.but i cant do it either. there is so much going on for you. as there is for me. and it seems like we are worlds apart. not talking about the distance. but relationship. seems like i dont even know its you. i know you changed. because change is inevitable in a situation like this. but i want you to promise me. you'll stay the same and never go. you will never ever go.

since young. my worst fear is of losing my memory of the ones i love. and i am scared. and i am afraid that i will forget my beloved grandfather. his face is a blur in my vision of him. his character tinted till i forget sometimes that he is there. but yet i know his love holds strong. his love for me and the family sustains my memory. but how long will it be before i forget. before i forget him. and now i am afraid i will forget you too. what if i forget how you were back then. what if i forget how you look? i am not ill, just paranoid.

i promise i will stay the same

GAME OVER
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