oh my toe jam!! training yesterday was REALLY REALLY BAD. i could have died out there. first part was alright. did the tacking without rudder. BUT second part as the wind was picking up. my legs were so sore of hiking out, all the lactic acid built up could have been enough to fill a 10 litre bottle. so the last race i gave up. i was simply just not hiking out. grrrrr. so frustrated with myself.

and the wound on my ankle was like stuck on nurul's high cut booties. it was excruciating when i took off the shoes. i almost felt like my legs were in hell and i was on earth.

anyway i love this dinosaur skin. its so CUTE!
i gave my zen to my cousin. cause she wanted to buy a mp3. oh wells. hope she likes the songs inside. its like 5 gb. while my nano is like 1. HA! i really should have bought more gb. at least like 2 or something.
anyway i love this song!

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe thatI could be so blin
dIt's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mindCause
I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

i think i liked the view when there was me and YOU. but YOU ... its hard to tell.
wellings... i'm off bye!

well well . today was the first training since like forever. and its so fun. oh my at first the wind was really nice. nice and calm . but not too calm . so it was nice. oh wait i should talk about training first.

i should talk about how "great" my results were. THEY SUCK! yeah i know i just contradicted myself. well i got b3 for my chi prelims. i think i reached my potential for chinese. REALLY i want to open a bottle of wine no hard liquor to celebrate. considering that i have been failing. and i screwed up my oral big time. cause the teacher was telling me what to say. uhuh. haha well clap clap clap clap clap for joan!!
THEN my chem results SUCK! oh my god. i got a freaking c5 . llike 57.5 /100. so angry. so many careless mistake. and so many things i didnt learn. urghhhh.
so right now two papers and i already got like 8 for my aggregate. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP for joan AGAIN! shes a real genius.

ok now back to training. training was F-U-N. i learn how to tack without the tiller. which was real cool. at first i followed nurul. and haha she was doing the wrong way. till that RI boy came and teach me. at first everything was muffled. i couldnt understand what he was saying. and coach kept on asking me to let go of my tiller. i was like what the fuck how to do that. (ok i am vulgar at sea. seriously) then i let go of it and i sheet up my main sheet. and voila! joan did it. hahahah well thanks that boy. i wont forget you if ever i need to use that to save my precious life. which i doubt it. yeah but oh well.

i manage to stay out the whole training session instead of being sent back like a weiner. ok many not a weiner. but yeah. real accomplishment considering how much i suck last time. couldnt even upright the boat. sigh. but still i have no hope in me. i mean come on how am i suppose to be as good as the RI people by the end of 10 sessions. its as good as asking me to climb mount ophia without a rope. ok why mount ophia . i have NOOOOooo idea.
well joan the wonderful needs her wonderful rest. tanks of love
joan

miss you loads!!!

hey all... today was crazy man
brought my popo out for mother's day lunch. wait a min when is mother's day anyway? hmmm let me think
a thousand years later...
oh well i still dont know. should be near by if not we wouldnt bring popo out to lunch.

ok so anyway she was being completely weird. i dont know why maybe i was too brainwashed by my mom about her ways when she was younger. and how badly she treated my mom. and how bias she is toward her own sons and toward me (she hates me). and how idiotic she was to be driven by greed and got my father into trouble. and how she was the cause of my life being terrible. so yes all these "trivial" things make me hate her. yes i mean hate.so i tried to strike a conversation with her. you know joan she cant stop talking for a min. well so when the car passed by my school i went
" hey thats my new school!"
popo went hysterically " REALLY... REALLY... THATS YOUR NEW
SCHOOL? OH MOVE ALREADY AH! REALLY
REALLY!!!! OH YOU CAN STUDY HERE
ALREADY WHEN DID YOU GUYS MOVE?"
oh my goodness i was shock by her sudden behavior. she went like crazy. OVER!! she just started shouting at me. like huh? what did i do man.

so joan went " erm.... erm... this year ya thats my new school. erm... ya
erm.. ya hehe"
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO REPLY. its was so weird. i swear i wont ever EVER want to start a conversation with her. it might just scare me to hell man.

good tar tar sauce. lunch went pretty fast. food was good. yum fried banana and prawn. YUM YUM.

after that i saw my swimming coach when i was young. he still looks the same. after so MANY years. hmmm is it swimming that makes people no age. I MUST TRY IT.

after that we drop popo off and went to thomson plaza.cause i wanted to rent dvds. so we ended up overspending money . we were spending like there was a sale. my it was creepy.
first stop: my mom and i went to celia loe. she bought like a top a dress and a skirt for like $357 . and i tried on a few dresses for my prom. i know its early but i couldnt resist. they were pretty!!
second stop: dad went to the DIY store and spent 30 there
third stop: dad went to a shoe shop to get his shoes $60
fourth stop: dad bought goggles and i bought adidas shorts $60
fifth stop: bra shop i bought this really pretty blue and green bra. and on the inside it has 3-d heart shapes. oh my goodness. so pretty but they are for ventilation. yup joan grins! she loves her bra $50
sixth stop: dvd rental $13
seventh stop: watsons we just started grabbing everything haha i bought a miss sixty deo. i didnt know they did scents. so cool ! $ 60
eighth stop : NTUC well i bought ben and jerry's and my yogurt and my apples and some other stuff ( they didnt let me lay my hands on the winnie the pooh tissue paper!! ) $40
ninth stop: dog food $70
luckily i didnt step into the bookstore if not it could be worse

just hang on a min. i'll just grab my calculator and see how much we spent. oh my coconuts and tar tar sauce! we spent $730
its incredible! haha quite funny actually like spend money at thomson plaza. ALONE! ahahahhaha

yup thats all about my day today!

yesterday i slept at 2 am and i woke up at 5 to study. NOW i cant feel myself anymore. i am high till the highest. there is no more higher.

i cant even fall asleep. and i have ONE MORE PAPER TO GO. joan screams... WHYYYY when everyone is enjoying themselves. and i am studying how my mentrual cycle works or how the pollen grains pollinates a PLANT. SAVE ME FROM AGONY.

anyway i have been slacking from 10 (when i came home) to now and i am addicted to a SONG. unfaithful by rihanna. oh my love that song . though i haven been unfaithful. erm. ok anyway so yes. arhhhh pretty pretty song. you know people say beautiful song. i say pretty. why cannot ah. huh! fight ah!

oh yes on my way home i saw 2 not 1 but 2 FUCK written on the wall. one is at tp. one is on the newly painted walls of my void deck. oh my whats up with people and the obsession with the word fuck. first pronounciation is very weird. f-uck. erm so weird. and saliva tend to splatter out while pronouncing the f. and second dont you find it degrading to say it when all the other kids cant pronounce it properly. they go fuc fuc fuc. not fucK. so gross. oh my this para is so vulgar. [PARDON MY LANGUAGE]
being as civilised as ever. hahahah
ok fine its the stress alright!

what i'm feeling today: sad
what i'm thinking about today: airport, migration and DEPARTURE
what i feel like doing: flushing myself down the toilet bowl

well michelle left. and though i am not close to her, she has always been in my bimbo association. so going to miss her. and i wonder how was it like when my other friends left for other countries for good. people that i didnt send off. was it the same? was it worse?

well when michelle was leaving, i started thinking about my other friends who left. like that girl in primary school. magdelene oei oh wait is it magdelene?. i dont know. see i cant even remember her name. will people fade away in our lives when they leave? well i tried writing a letter to her but i forgot to write the return address. so we lost touch.
and its true, its so much more difficult to remain close when you are further away from your friend. it will never happen. they have got another life there while you have yours. its different. ITS EVEN A DIFFERENT TIME FOR CORN'S SAKE. it difficult.
i hate airports. migration, or leaving the country for a period of time must not be legalised at all. NEVER. only holidays are!.
damn it today will forever be etched in my mind. i will never forget every detail of it. even those people that resurface in my thoughts

oh my... i am so tired but i still have tuition in like 15 mins. damn... and chem sucks. i havent finish studying yet. i am BBQed meat .

i feel like giving up. if giving up is the price to pay. I'LL DO IT. I'LL PAY THE PRICE DAMN IT.

just strap me up to a rocket and send me to the moon. i want to be an alienated alien! i want my mommmyyyy

HEY ALL... i've got a new blog! yippee